Wonder Woman has returned in the eighties to fight against wishes.  Wishes.  When I first saw Batman V Superman:  Dawn of Justice, and Wonder Woman showed up in costume, the whole theater started seizure clapping and fanboy screaming.  Except for me.  I hated that movie so much that I completely checked out at that point and didn’t care about what was happening on screen.  Gal Gadot felt like dead weight to me.  

Then I saw the first Wonder Woman movie. I had no hope, but I was pleasantly surprised and ended up pretty much loving it.  I felt like the movie was well made, and Gal Gadot, who is usually not that good of an actress, did an exceptional job.  She made her character of Diana, aka Wonder Woman, incredibly likable.  The support of Chris Pine and the rest of her team helped her and the movie.  The villains weren’t interesting, but not enough to ruin the movie.  I’ll even defend the special effects heavy climax that most people have a problem with.  Then we get to the inevitable crap sequel.

After a completely pointless opening with a young Diana, we have Pedro Pascal as the power-hungry villain.  He gets the ability to grant wishes which will make him more powerful and rule the world.  The other villain is Cheetah, played by Kristin Wiig.  She fits that same mold as Jim Carrey in Batman Forever or Jamie Foxx in Amazing Spiderman 2.  You know what she’s all about.  A kind of character template that I wish Hollywood would stop relying on.  Chris Pine comes back in a very odd, weird, nonsensical, nonconsensual kind of way.  Then you have Gal, who has improved her acting, but sometimes looks bad because of the bonkers script.

If I was a Warner Bro executive who approved of this script, I must snort a lot of cocaine.  If I didn’t, then I would tell Patty Jenkins to get the fuck out of my office and don’t come back until you’ve written an entertaining, plausible story.  They gave Jenkins the keys to the kingdom, and she completely squandered it.  She should never be allowed to have complete creative control on any property again. 

This movie is just so bizarre and poorly made.  The action and the visual effects seem pedestrian, and the only thing memorable about it is how terrible it is.  It’s the perfect movie for any negative list.  If you start to think about everything that is happening in the movie, it breaks.  And yes, Wonder Woman rapes a dude in this.  The climax also wants to be different from the first movie by not having a huge epic CGI fight, but it comes off as lame by including Diana convincing the whole world to renounce their wishes, and we’re supposed to believe that everyone does.  Just plain awful.

Who knows where they’ll go from here.  The first thing to do is make sure Patty Jenkins has no part of it.  She did a fantastic job with the first movie, but she made one of the worst movies with this.  I’m sure they’ll end up rebooting Wonder Woman soon anyway since they love doing that these days.  I still like the character though, and hopefully whoever makes the next one will know that this movie is dirty soiled trash.

Would I watch it again?  Nope.